well I can't set my house on fire every night
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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