so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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