Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
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You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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