I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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