A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
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I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
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HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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