Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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