We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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