is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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