Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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