She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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