just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize