but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just want to make out with him forever
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize