problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
it's great music for shaving your balls
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize