Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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