Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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