i don't plan on having that self control this summer
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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