we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize