I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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