he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize