we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize