If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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