Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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