Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You should frame my arrest warrant.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize