She said her name was "party"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize