At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize