In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize