This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I smell like Dick and happiness
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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