we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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