I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize