i just wanna soil my oats bro
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize