I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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