yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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