If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize