no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
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He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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