Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Randomize