My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
When are your genitals available?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize