never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
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My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
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I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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