there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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