It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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