I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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