Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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