dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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