Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
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I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
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Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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