Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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