He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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