i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
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There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
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I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Also, beer. Big fan.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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