one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize