YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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