Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Randomize