You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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